J'ai embrassée une fille et j'ai aimé ça.

Just wanted to mention how fun it is to be the ‘exchange student’. Everyone’s so friendly and talkative and eager to impress you with their knowledge of kangaroos. (Seriously, I think my nickname is ‘kangaroo’…tad worrying.) And yeah, that’s all really! I’m trying to write more about it but it’s hard to describe. Though there can be downfalls…like walking into the guys’ change room. Not at all embarrassing.

So I’m not going to claim to know anything about the music scene in France, but I think it’s safe to say that the majority of the music that the majority of French people listen to is in English. (As I write this, Katy Perry is blaring from the radio.) Which is kind of sad. If you think French accents are hot, they’ve got nothing on the actual language. But I’m going to try and find some decent French music. And then naturally, I’ll bring that French music to you. Wish me luck! (Or bonne chance?) Oh also: What are the chances of Ratatat playing in Lyon, while I’m here and it being all ages!? None. Over 18. Gah.

Went to a (apparently typical) French café with the other Ozlanders (yes a real French café, though no berets were present, sadly). I’ve never been a Starbucks/Gloria Jeans hater but I can’t imagine a waiter/manager there ever jumping into a photo with tourists. Not much else to say about it other than it was fun and that Suzie and I discovered that yes, money can buy happiness and that there is real value in retail therapy. (Mum, Dad, bought a new dress that day. Cheers!)

I can hear you 'awwing'.

So I’d been feeling pretty good about how my French was going, I basically don’t speak English at all unless I see a fellow Auslander or if I don’t understand something that’s been repeated a few times in French and it has to be explained in English. And then I met the German exchange student. He speaks German. His French is amazing. No accent. I thought he was French! And he speaks English amazingly too. (And he takes Latin…but it’s not like you speak that so…) God. Way to make me feel like an ignorant Australian much. I know there isn’t as big a need for a strong focus on languages in Australia, but come on, this is just embarrassing.

So Ariane told me that everyone smokes in France. I knew that before she told me. And then you come home after a day in which you haven’t been with anyone who was smoking but still manage to smell like smoke and realise, everyone smokes in France.

I was sitting in French, got handed the sheets that I couldn’t even hope to comprehend, and the teacher began on an hour long lecture, which, I probably wouldn’t have listened to even if I could understand it. Rather than wasting good paper and time, I decided (subconsciously) to draw (read: scribble) away. I was doing this happily when I noticed the whole class had stopped their discussion (trust me, this is huge for France) and they were all looking at my Monet-esque masterpiece. I got a ‘That’s very beautiful’ from one guy, a blatant smirk from the teacher with a side of ‘You’re not following?’ and laughs all round. Ground. Swallow. Me. Now. Basically my thought process at the time. There’s a reason as to why I dropped art. The other French teacher is nicer. He gave me Tim Burton poems in French (who knew right?). And if you were wondering, a little strange (it's Tim Burton) yet also strangely funny. Think parents who give birth to an oyster, husband therefore loses his sex drive and then eats oyster-son because a doctor tells him that oysters are aphrodesiacs.

In an effort to enrich my experience in France I have (naturally) been participating in the two-kiss greeting that is typically French, which is more of an art form than you realise. You see, there are different techniques to the activity. The most preferable is the: side of lips to cheek-side of lips to other cheek. The next on the ladder still carries the side of lips aspect but also encompasses a hard banging of the cheeks and can bring about a slight redness of the face in people of fair skin colour. This method is most prevalent in rushed situations; however there are some people who just haven’t been taught any better. Beware. And finally, the dreaded one: the sloppy, often slobbery, full lips planted on the side of your face, I’m just getting kissed, does this mean we have to do this four times or what? method. People don’t do this by accident. If you’ve met one of these, they’re always going to do it that way. Just pretend you’re sick with kangarooitis and you’ll be right.

And just because this post isn’t exactly snap happy, I thought I’d reward you with not one, but TWO videos. One of Ariane and friends singing a French song and the other of Ariane mocking Australian people speaking French. I promise we’re not as bad as that.